Fear

Yesterday started out as a bad day. Our dog park is closed so we went to another area that is fenced in where I discovered one of my fur babies has a gash in her side. I have no idea how this could happen between home, the 6 minute drive and the five minutes we’ve been at the park. As I call the vet, someone inadvertently opens one side of the fenced in area and off the two big ones go, including the one with the injury. They have disappeared into the small forest. For 30 minutes I search, frantic, terrified. I ask everyone I see if they’ve seen two blonde dogs that look like twins and no one has. I drive around outside the area, come back, walk around more- all while screaming their names. Laney! Marie! All with our foster puppy in tow. In tears, I head back to the car, not knowing what I will do next. I get to the car and There. They. Are. Waiting by the car.

I know that my girls know our car. I know that they always want to come home. I know that they would never go too far from me. So why didn’t I just stay where they were last with me? Why didn’t I save myself the panic and feelings of terror? Why did I literally run, drive and scream and yell for 30 minutes like a crazy person?

Because fear does terrible things to us. It blocks rational thinking. It causes us to ignore our instincts. It paralyzes and stops any momentum. Worse, it lingers.

All of this, and the subsequent vet visit complete with stitches, a drain tube, absurdly large cone and ample vet bill; occurred before 11am. My day was full of plans and scheduled appointments but for a minute, I forgot it all and was paralyzed by panic, fear and then worry.

But then a friend told me to breathe. Actually texted it. It’s not as if I wasn’t breathing but that friendly text was a powerful pull back to rational thinking and enough to break the cone of fear. Enough to realize all was well. And then to feel grateful. The girls were safe and healthy. We have a safe place to isolate and tons of outdoor space to enjoy with more than recommended social distancing requirements. We have a caring vet who was able to take care of Marie’s wound. We have friends and family who check in to see how we are doing?

When we let fear take over we can forget all of the things we have to be grateful for. We can be blinded to the good around us. We can let it stop us in our tracks.

Allow your fear but don’t let it paralyze you.  Breathe, reach out to a friend or family member, find appreciation for something- it can be as simple as a favorite pillow.   Any of these actions can provide a pinpoint of light and that light can lead you towards your way out of the cone of fear.  Complete a task, then another.

What if that fear turns to worry?  Then worry eventually turns to overwhelm?  Then to frustration and boredom?  What if you can get to hopeful?

Each of these steps can offer relief and have you moving forward.  And with this you have another thing to be grateful for- your power to feel acknowledge, survive and overcome fear.