LISTEN to Lead Method

I developed the LISTEN to Lead Method to emphasize the importance of both the action of listening and the benefits of listening in a whole-istic approach to leadership that takes into account the whole person. See the old addage of "leave your life at home and your work at work" is just not feasible. We are human and we carry all of us around everywhere we go. And that is ok! In fact it is amazing, because you are amazing. When we start trying to pinch parts of ourselves off from others parts of ourselves, things just can't go right. Not sustainably. All of our parts create us and how we see and interpret life around us and when we can be open and honest about what we see, that is when innovation occurs- the magic. But I am getting ahead of myself and we have a topic to stick today! I promise more in future episodes. So on to Listening. listening is a gift but in leadership it is also a responsibility and an opportunity. The basic definition of Listen is to give one's attention to a sound. But, what I offer to you is that listening is receiving another person's thoughts and feelings through paying attention. This can be done in person, over email, video conference, text; it can be done with your ears and your eyes. With the LISTEN Method, we listen to Learn, we listen to Inspire & innovate, we listen to serve, teach, engage and nurture. That is the why of the LISTEN Method.

Early in my leadership position in the hospitality industry, I learned the listen to lead lesson the hard way. I was a young leader, a top producing sales person but no experience in leading anyone. Truthfully, I was still learning how to lead myself and understand how to work with integrity and humility. I was eager to learn but felt I needed to know it all which, lets be honest, is the death of growth and learning and leaves no room for listening. I cut people off and thought I knew best- which I am sure you can guess, was not a great start. But I thought as a leader, I immediately received the skills with the title and was left to decipher on my own what those skills were. Isn't that something?  As if skills come with a title. If that were true people would be running around calling themselves Superstars and Doctors without the work! Fortunately I had a great mentor shortly after that start who was a true leader. And while i didn't have much time with that person, the lasting effects were powerful. Don't get me wrong, I still made plenty of mistakes but the mistakes no longer defined me or stopped me in my tracks and I made every effort possible to listen to learn and grow.

Three ways you can listen better today:

1. Give your undivided attention without thinking what to say next. If a thought pops up, let it go or jot it down and come back to it later only if it truly applies.

2. Listen for the emotion behind the words as well as the words.

3. Listen without judgement.

• How can you take this information and apply it in your life and work?
  Can you listen to one person today without any thoughts of your own getting in the way?
• Can you pick out the emotion behind the words as well as the thoughts they are sharing?
• Listen without judgement and without making it mean anything about you or your skills

As Klaus Balkenhol says "There is a difference between being a leader and being a boss. Both are based on authority. A boss demands blind obedience; a leader earns his authority through understanding and trust."