Overcoming FOMO and Embracing Abundance

Lately, I've been engaged in numerous conversations about FOMO, or the Fear of Missing Out. If you've found yourself caught in the grip of this fear, and it's creating a distraction from your goals; keep reading.

Understanding FOMO

Fear of Missing Out, or FOMO, is often focused on experiences.  For instance, struggling with keeping a commitment to prepare for a presentation because "everyone" is going to the new live music venue in town tonight.  But the truth is that FOMO occurs within our goals too. And the common thread is that no matter where FOMO shows up, it is always rooted in scarcity. And that scarcity can turn into urgency. It often starts as incessant "what if" scenarios: What if I never get another chance? What if I make the wrong choice? What if I'd be happier if...?

The Pitfalls of FOMO

FOMO keeps us fixated on what we might miss.  It focuses on one small, not necessarily true, part of the story.  This leads to indecision or, sometimes, rash  urgent decisions.  It can also contribute to  demotivation, and ultimately a dismissal of relevant accomplishments and capabilities. It blinds us to the truth that we are the creators of our experiences. Whether a choice is made for us or by us, we ultimately control how we move forward and what we choose in our experience.  

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

Ironically, dwelling on what we fear missing out on often leads us to miss out on what we already have and what's available to us in the present and future. Sometimes, what we fear missing out on may actually be something we don't want or need.   There are actually things we want to miss out on. But we don't often know it until after the fact. What if this thing you are fearing you will miss out on is a gift you don't actually want. Or you have to miss out on it in order to experience or receive something better? My client recently made one small change in her business and she was so focused on what she was going to miss out on because of this change. In her mind she believed that she would miss out on dozens of clients because of this change. That she was powerless to create the results she wanted. Focusing on this change and this belief did indeed have my client missing out. She was missing out on the hundreds of people she already serves. The thousands she will. The strategies that have worked and will continue to work with this new change as well as the new ones she will develop.

The Antidote to FOMO

The antidote to FOMO lies in your ability to lean on, and grow, your self trust.  It lies in providing yourself with the whole story and making decisions aligned with your values.  Yes, one part of the story is you may feel some discomfort in doing what you planned and some relief or enjoyment in doing what you fear missing out on.  But what is the rest of the story?  Is there a net negative to this option? One way to check is to ask whether this moves you closer or further away from your goal.  What might you gain from purposefully "missing out"?  You may still choose to indulge in the instant gratification and delay your progress-and that is okay.  The difference lies in telling yourself the truth, the whole story if you will, instead of making excuses, judgments or justifications; you create an open and honest trust-building dialogue with yourself.  You make yourself a safe space to choose what’s right for you and what you want.  Not just in the moment but in your entire story and life.  Then if disappointment shows up, you can honor that choice by having your own back while also trusting yourself and your path forward. This empowers an embrace of all the possibilities that await, even if they differ from what you initially anticipated.  This way you own your choices and the consequences positive and negative.  Not with judgment but with support of you and how you move forward.

My goal is for you to expand your perspective on FOMO, trust in your ability to navigate disappointments (wanted and unwanted), and embrace the abundance of opportunities that await:

Understand FOMO: Recognize its roots in scarcity and how it can hinder your progress.  That it is only one side of the story and their is nothing to fear.  Only choices that you can own and use to make all subsequent choices based on the results you create from those choices.

Consider Possibilities: Shift your focus from what you might miss out on to what you stand to gain.  Expand your vision to include what else is true and available to you.  

Make Your Choice: Will choosing disappointment now mean more satisfaction later?  Will choosing satisfaction now mean more disappointment later?  Is there an option that creates satisfaction now and later?  Explore how missing out could be a blessing in disguise.  Or, perhaps, how it's not missing out at all.  

Own Your Choices: Make decisions aligned with your values, allow for any disappointment, and trust yourself to move forward.  Knowing you will make the next best decision that works for you and what you want to create; who you want to be.

So that whatever you choose to "miss out" on never outweighs what you gain in trust and alignment with your path. Remember, the abundance of opportunities that are always within reach.

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Is Self Trust Holding You Back? If you have a vision of the future you want to create.. Goals towards accomplishing that vision.. And yet, you are not moving in that direction. Or for every one step forward, you take 2, 3 or even 5 steps back. Your level of self trust may be holding you back. Sometimes it's super obvious. And sometimes the results are surprising.

Take the Free Self Trust Quiz💡 and find out where self trust may be holding you back. Get instant results and what you can do in response. Take the Free Self Trust Quiz💡Now.